A DREAM CHARACTER AS A MIRROR: YOU SEE ONLY YOURSELF.
The most common purpose of a dream person is to mirror your own behavior and traits.
DREAM EXAMPLE: MY SISTER BEHAVED BADLY. A woman dreamed of her sister having a temper tantrum. In real life, her sister was capable of a grand explosion or two. The dreamer noted how insensitive her sister appeared in the dream as she spewed venomous words, and she suddenly remembered the verbal mudslinging that she, herself, had engaged in with a co-worker, the previous day. She realized that the dream scene described her, not her sister. Though normally professional and constructive, the previous day she lost her cool and her dream mirrored how she had appeared to coworkers. The dream made her realize that a kind word would have gone much further to resolve the situation than anger. When you see someone behaving badly in a dream, take a breath and fess up. In the end, most of the people that you dream about signify parts of yourself.
TO SEE WHETHER A PERSON IN A DREAM IS A MIRROR OF YOU, PLAY THE “TWO PLUS TWO” GAME
A DREAM PERSON AS A MIRROR OF YOU. “Projection” is a psychological term that describes how easy it is to see—in others—what you hide about yourself. Take the driver on the highway who weaves in and out of lanes, shouting at others about driving too slow or being in the wrong lane. He notices others’ poor driving habits but is blind to his own. That is called projection. Instead of glaring at your own fault, you notice it in others.
Most people hate to admit to shortcomings like having a bad temper, eating or drinking too much, or not living up to their ideals. As you conveniently push away negative images of self in a dream, you let an actor “stand in” for you, to demonstrate the negative behavior that you hide from yourself. To further distance yourself from the flawed person that you don’t want to recognize as really you—the stand-in takes on the appearance of a family member, a friend, or a stranger.
To explore how a dream person can mirror you, try this exercise. It is named the “Two Plus Two” game because you select two qualities and two shortcomings in a main dream character and then explore those traits in yourself. This is how it goes.
1. SELECT A DREAM PERSON.
• Select a prominent dream character who appeared in a recent dream. Choose someone who confused you or stimulated an intense reaction.
• Without thinking too much about it, list two positive traits and two negative traits about the dream person.
• Even if the dream character is a stranger or a well-known person who you do not know, you still have a notion of what they are like from their actions, appearance, and body language. Base your selections on those impressions and your reactions to the dream character.
• If the person is someone you know, list their actual traits that come to mind.
2. COULD THIS BE YOU? After listing the dream character’s positive and negative traits, be bold. Examine the same traits in yourself.
See which ones, if any, might apply to you at this time. Keep in mind that a trait may be relevant to you for only a limited time, or relate to you only in a specific situation. For example, you may normally be talkative, yet when troubled, you brood in silence. As a result, even though friends may describe you as chatty, a dream about a quiet person might portray you during a troubled phase.
3. BUT … WHAT IF THE PERSON IS NOT A MIRROR? After taking a good look, if you can sincerely conclude that the dream person’s traits do not match yours, the character may not be a mirror of your traits or actions. Examine the alternative options about what dream characters may represent, as listed below.
DETERMINE WHEN A DREAM CHARACTER IS NOT A MIRROR OF YOU
Most of the time a dream person mirrors your personality and actions. However, there are exceptions. When a dream person does not fit as a mirror, explore these alternatives.
Alternative 1 of a Dream Person Who Is Not a MirrorCHARACTERS MAY BE ACTING OUT A RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC. Whether a dream relates to your relationship with a boss, an associate, family member, friend, or a love interest, people in dreams sometimes indicate how that relationship is going. Never ignore the story line; the story line is your first indication of who or what the dream is about. How characters behave in the dream plus the story line can unveil hidden motives, show how others see you, and reveal hidden agendas—yours and theirs.
When, in real life, you feel confused about a relationship, look for a dream that may mirror what is going on and shines a spotlight on the situation. A dream about a relationship can advise you how to handle others or invite you to tweak your own attitude or behavior.
Alternative 2 of a Dream Person Who Is Not a Mirror
A DREAM CHARACTER PORTRAYS AN ACTUAL PERSON. Once in a while a dream is truly about someone else. Such a dream may show the person acting and looking as they normally do. Or, it can be a metaphoric scene, but you recognize the topic and the qualities of the dream character as being related to someone else. A literal dream about another puts you in touch with their issues, reveals their talents, or gives insights about your role in their life. A woman who dreamed that a friend was contemplating suicide made a quick phone call. Thanks to the heads-up, the dreamer steered the friend back onto a positive track.
Alternative 3 of a Dream Person Who Is Not a MirrorA DREAM CHARACTER GIVES DIRECT AND CLEAR GUIDANCE. A man or woman in a dream may at times directly present the information that you need, such as a family member pointing out where you misplaced a lost object or a mechanic working on a car part that needs to be replaced in your car. When that happens, no interpretation is necessary. Sometimes only the thought is implied, yet even if no words are spoken, the dreamer knows the intent. Whether words are spoken, thoughts implied, or a dream character demonstrates the information visually, the guidance can be direct and clear.